Eight Stereotypes About Black Women That Need to Die

We Are Angry

Black women are often accused of wearing frowns or scowls and, unfortunately, many of us have perfected the mean mug. But, when was the last time someone asked us “why?” Most of the time we’re just a little frustrated, or annoyed with being overworked, underappreciated, beaten, and used. So, I’m sorry if your attempt to “holla” was rejected. I just wasn’t in the mood. This stereotype has to go because we are not angry – in many cases we are disappointed or tired. Bear with us brothas; it’s not always about you. And when you see us frowning, just smile and remind us that we are not in this alone. Ninety percent of the time, this is all we needed to hear to get us through the day.

We Emasculate Our Men

Show us that you are men and we won’t be able to take your manhood away from you. Fortunately and unfortunately, our culture has changed; therefore, the social dynamics between men and women have as well. In addition, women are more educated, make more money and are less dependent on men for our general needs and survival. But, I must ask, isn’t a man more than just a financial provider or shelf-reacher? We need you for much more than that. We want that strength and power that only you provide, but you must show it to us in order for us to see or appreciate it.

We are all Overweight or Out of Shape

Talk to my ladies in “Black Girls Run” and other fitness groups made for and ran by Black women. Or follow @JeanetteJenkins on Twitter and see how much Black booty she kicks in a week. We love and take care of our bodies. Yes, collectively, we are not as trim as our White counterparts; but, we never have been. Remember, there is such a thing as thick and fit.

We are sexually inhibited

This stereotype not only insults Black women, but also our Latina, Asian and Caucasian sisters. Terms like “Spicy Latina”, “Asian Sensation” and others that are used to affirm the “prudism” of Black women, in turn insinuate that other women are hypersexual. Also, think about this, if the most popular images of you were of booty shakers, ghetto queens and slaves, wouldn’t you be a little more protective of your body and what you do with it?

Our standards are too high

A common and accepted reason for the “epidemic” of single Black women is that our standards are too high when it comes to choosing a mate. I disagree. If I consider myself a Queen, why wouldn’t I expect you to live up to your potential as a King? And if other women are OK with a Prince, Duke or Jester, then maybe their standards are too low.

We are all “man crazy”

Contrary to popular belief, not all Black women are “Waiting to Exhale,” trying to “Get Their Groove Back,” or searching for “Something New.” Unfortunately, the media believes, we are all running around chasing our tails trying to find a good Black man. Apparently, this is all we think about, talk about and live for. Who knew? It’s amazing we find time to get degrees, build businesses and hold note-worthy positions with fortune 500 companies with all that man-thought running through our one-track minds.

We all have “Daddy Issues”

Statistically, it is no secret that the Black community has been plagued by generations of fatherless homes. But what the news doesn’t tell you is that many of us did and are growing up with our fathers or a father figure. And there are plenty of men living and growing up without their fathers. What is this doing to them in regards to their self-esteem, views on masculinity and relationships? Or are females the only ones being affected?

We are All Either/Or

To my dismay, the light-skinned/ dark-skinned thing just won’t go away. And now with greater emphasis being placed on class, American society has found new ways of dividing Black women. It’s bad enough that women, in general, find a billion reasons not to get along (men, jealousy, men, choices in fashion, men, pettiness, men…), but then skin color and hair texture are added to the mix. We all like to judge each other by the way we look. If you’re light-skinned with long hair, you must be conceited and cold. If you’re dark-skinned and wear your hair kinky or curly, you must be Afro-centric or militant. Nope. This is not the case at all. I know plenty of women of many different hues and backgrounds that fit into those and many other categories. The cover doesn’t always represent the book. Black women aren’t either/or. We’re just us.


Philadelphia native, G. Ann Wilkerson is a graduate of the University of Pittsburgh and Indiana University. A youth worker by profession, but, writer by trade, her works include social commentary on Urban Culture, Black Women and Health and Wellness. She is also the Founder/Editor of The Learning Curve, an online publication for Black women seeking self-discovery, understanding and fulfillment. Follow her on twitter @G_AnnWilkerson.
  • Luv my sistas!

    Outstanding–this level of communication.

    These stereotypes may not be as widely accepted as they might seem. Consider that, for sistas to think that they are could, in itself, lead to a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. No? Even, perhaps, the true source of our interpersonal struggle? When we do encounter these myths, could they not be as easily dispelled, with honest, open communication? Men of standard could not be so simplistic, one would think. We are intelligent enough to know and honor a woman’s authentic self. This you need to know.

    Trust, in my humble opinion, seems to be the largest of the stumbling blocks in our relationship building, and definitely one of those issues we’d do well to work out together.

    Apprecilove your sharing very much. The very best!

    • https://twitter.com/#!/MsWilliamsWorld MsWilliamsWorld

      Whoa boy–thank you SO much for this article! I ESPECIALLY wish the “We Are Too Angry” & “Our Standards Are Too High” ones would just D-I-E!!

  • I am what I am

    So, for the women who fall into any of those, will blacks start shunning us, now?

    I am a black woman:

    1) I am angry – I feel cheated out of life. Although, as I’ve gotten older I’ve become less angry. The more I’ve learned, the less confused and angry I’ve become. But I am angry and I have every right to be.

    3) I am a little overweight (but I’m on stead path of reverting this).

    4) I have long been sexually inhibited because of the inherit stigma of being a fatherless daughter, a product of neglect/abuse and sexual molestation. I have long felt that people expected me, were waiting for me, to be uninhibited, from the person who molested me at age six, to the the old dirty man that tried to feel me up when I was 16, the local pimp that tried to recruit me at 17, and my mother’s friend’s husband that propositioned me at 14. Oh, and my mother who tried to ‘teach me’ how sex could be business and become my business partner at age 18. Me, a product (offspring) of prostitution, a fact I learned later in adulthood. I’ve been ‘running’ from sexual exploitation and compromise for the bulk of my life. It’s a sanity mechanism. I’ve been taunted for it. I lost a boyfriend for never putting out, after his new chick and favorite f*k challenged me to a fight over the guy. I gave up my virginity a few years later, after I reclaimed what was taken from me at age 6 at a rather late age, having been subjected to shame about it with the guy I was ‘seeing’. After that ‘relationship’ it was clear to me that I had a lot to learn about ‘relationships’ after my heart was broken and became even more prudish.

    I, personally, have a right to be sexually inhibited without ridicule. It’s my heart and my body.

    Furthermore, when I had to have surgery to removed fibroid suffocating part of my reproductive organs, I lay in a hospital recovering for 2 days alone – no boyfriend w/ benefits, no mother, no friends/peers who were so concerned whether or not I was ‘having sex’, and, certainly, no father came by to see me through the ordeal.

    I reserve the right to prudish. For any woman that isn’t, if it came down to you developing an issue with your reproductive system, your sex parts, would the person you’re fu**ing be there for you during and after the ordeal? I’m not very enthusiastic about the prospect of having to trust people regarding certain things, such as being faithful to me sexually.

    5) My standards are not ‘that high’ as it pertains to social status and material things. Depending on the man, formal education isn’t even a requirement. All I ask for is love, honesty, friendship, trust, integrity, morals, principles, sincerity, example, wisdom, faith, hope, ability, will and understanding that as old as I am, relationships are still ‘new’ to me. I may be a little clingy, too. I want man who will lead me and my family, righteously, into the future. I’ve never had a male leader in my life, but I have a desire to be lead by a strong, loving, sane, genuine and trustworthy man.

    6) My daddy issue is that daddy never existed. Uncle, granddad, male cousin…they didn’t exist either. But I’m not looking for a pimp, sugar daddy or to be entrapped. I don’t need a fair-weather man in my life. He can keep his baggage. I need someone to grow and evolve with. IMO, I’m not going to find that type of person without embracing who I am, at this moment.

    • I am what I am

      Add a certain high school educator who kept offering me ‘things’ that was awaiting for me to be uninhibited sexually.

      When it comes to sex and level of reserve, I think it’s important the we respect individual choice. Yes, we had the sexual revolution, but being sexually free doesn’t fit every person. Being a prude doesn’t fit every person either, but we can’t all be expected to be one way or another.

      Considering my background and what I came to know, and when I came to know it, being sexually free would have, personally, made my life harder than what it already was. But that’s not everyone’s individual path.

    • Rahiel

      I am what I am,

      I want to thank you for the harsh reality check that will quickly come to anyone and everyone reading your comments. What your story reminds us is that stereotypes diminish and perhaps even erase the complexities of the human experience. Your words speak to the brokenness that lurks behind all of us and, yet, we still seek to live and love. Stereotypes/ universal claims do an immense injustice to all of that.

      There’s a dark side to reality that you name so clearly and boldly and I hope you recognize the strength you must possess to stare that pain in the face and insist on defining yourself for yourself. There are so many women who share elements of your testimony and your words here send them the powerful message that they are not alone and others know the struggles that they face daily.

      It is my hope and prayer that you will continue to tell your story, refusing silence. Your honesty is refreshing. And if you have learned and determined to love and protect yourself on your own terms, in spite of all that you have been through, then you are a model of what resilience looks like. Thank you.

    • Charisse

      I can’t even say that I do not understand what you’re going through or have been through. Sounds like we lived a very similar life. But what do you suppose would make things easier for you to cope with what happened in the past?

    • Veckser Nesmith

      Well I can understand when she says she is angry because of all the abusive relationships in her life. I think if I had grow up with everyone hitting me from the angles she is describing I would be angry too and I am man. However me I got abused when I became an adult from black women who were either drug addicts, recovering drug addicts or players. And I realized that there are givers and there are selfish takers. man or women. So decide who you are and discern the takers and only developed relationship with givers who are giving knowledge, help and moral. Because the other way in end you are only going to be hurt no matter how much you try to change things.

  • fatso

    most americans are overweight, so black women are hardly alone in that. just as many black men arent married as black women, so the epidemic goes both ways. if men want to be men, they need to put themselves in positions to provide – it begins there. just getting out of jail is not a good start.

  • Jonathan Durand Owens

    Black women are garbage and all of these stereotypes are 100% true, black women are angry and i don’t give a damn, seriously who cares! Black women can die alone for all i care, who wants to put up with all that mouth and attitude. I’ve notice only sorry, weak, loser black men still take black women seriously, strong black men with jobs, a car, their own place, and a backbone have seen the light and date outside their race.

    Black women are a joke, they say that black women are going to college and graduating at a higher rate, but look and what these dumb chicks are majoring in Psychology, Sociology, Communication, and other Liberal Arts Garbage, and Black women love rip off colleges like DeVry, Westwood and Everest.

    Like i said the only black men who date black women are usually weak losers who don’t mind if he’s the chick in the relationship. Black women like wearing the pants and these losers go along. These weak losers are always standing up for black women, but the funny part is that black women have zero respect for these men.

    If you have a problem with want i’m saying email me at durandowens@yahoo.com, I’m not rich, but i’m a strong independent black man and i’ve got my own place, car and JOB (Just like you dumb black broads like to say).

    • Dawn


      • Mel

        For real. WOW. I wonder if his mom knows how much he hates women like her. Smh.

    • Zara

      Ummm… you are clearly trolling for responses. I am embarrassed for you buddy. Cease and desist.

      • C.Sheri

        agreed. Sounds like somebody is looking for an argument.

    • emily

      wow. i’m used to these comments though

    • Lisa

      Jonathan, you are black yourself. Why would you put black women down and you are black? If black women are garbage, what does that make you? You came from a black woman. You are calling your own mother trash? You say you don’t care about black women. then you don’t care about yourself. You black men never cease to amaze me. You bitch about how the white man is keeping you down, but then you turn around and trash your own people. what a hypocrite. Why complain about the white man. If you don’t care about your own people, then why should he. There are plenty of black women who are educated and have lucrative careers. I have a niece who is a medical doctor. She has her own practice. I graduated from high school with a young black woman who is an attorney. I know plenty of white women who are lazy and uneducated. You like white women because they appear to be more easy going and they don’t seem to give you too many problems. But white women are very two faced. They will throw a brick and hide their hand. As black women, we will say what we have to say to your face. But black men want to call this an attitude. I would rather for someone to be up front with me than to play games. This is what white women do. I can care less about black men. If they want white women to make fools out of them, that is their dumb black asses. Soon as the white woman or her family calls the police on you and your dumb black ass gets arrested, then you want Al Sharpton and everybody else in the black community to have your back. Who else is going to stand behind your black behind but a black woman

    • df

      Scary. Imagine someone spewing this hate about black people in general, you’d be fuming at the mouth calling them racist. The internet has shown me how so many people walk around with so much hate in their heart which does nothing but weight them down and shorten their lives. God have mercy upon you.

    • Mjini Askari

      dude, you is a Punk. It’s obvious that you have some childhood issues boiling over, and reading this post only reminded you of your insecurities. But you know what, my sistas are smarter than to allow your ignorant comments to bring them off their throne… they got warriors like me to eliminate the trash from their presence. So, to sum it up, take a long walk off a short peer.

  • G. Ann Wilkerson

    I appreciate all of your comments. I am glad that this piece has triggered so much conversation. Thank you for supporting my work and Urban Cusp!!

  • http://www.thernbnme.com TheRnBnMe

    Great article! I concur wholeheartedly!

  • Alex

    Hi Ann,

    While the column is well written, it doesn’t quite address the main point which I thought was dispell common held myths regarding black women. For example:

    1) Not angry……”but when was the last time somebody asked us why?” basically the argument that yes in fact you are angry, you just have a reason to be angry. Thus you are not dispelling assumption. I believe the argument should have gone more along the lines of, there are plenty of happy black women or something of the like.

    2) Emasculate man “show us that you are a man and we won’t be able to take your manhood away from you”. This is once again reinforcing the myth, that is if a male is not “man” enough for a black woman then she will in fact emasculate him? Once again your conclusion is off and your examples definitely do not do anything to refute the claim. How about saying black women are singulars and do not make decisions as a group and thus some women will like some men but not the other?

    Otherwise great article….but lacks good arguments for many of your points.

  • ikonic femme

    This was a good article because its the basis of much needed dialogue. However, I agree with the alex that most statements made only confirmed the myth instead of dispelling it. My other argument is that all of these myths can be said for a percentage of women of ALL races. In fact I see more white women than any other race who appear on shows such as dr. Phil. They are sooooooo angry and so dysfunctional, and so toxic. Yet they continue to be preferred by our black counter parts.
    Why is the black woman singled out when you can find these traits in amy, esperanza, ling yee, tasha, marta? What about these reality shows? Basket ball wives, house wives? These shows are casting women of a wide variety of cultures and races…and guess what? They all behave the same. Displaying behaviors that were discribed in the “myths”.So I take offense not only because of the stereo typing but because black women are targeted when I have saw women of all races on tv and rreal life displaying these tragic crys for help.
    In my personal opinion, I feel that the black women are targeted and highlighted by society in regards to these myths because dating back to slavery black women have always been expected to be submissive and stay in their place. Once imancipation was obtained black women took anew stand because they had a voice, they had some choices, more of a “say” about what happens in there life.
    To I am what I am… I love that you shared your life experinces and I am glad that you have set morals and principles by which you govern yourself for the safety and well being of your mind body and spirit. However, in my interpretation of what you said and what the author wrote I feel there was a disconnect. When people talk about black women being sexually inhibited they mean the things a woman will and won’t do. For example there is the stereo type that black women won’t have anal sex. So those are the types of things I think the author was referring to. You on the other hand were giving an account for why you may not be as sexually active as some others. But the author was referring to what women do when they decide to engage in sexuall acivity. Which to me has nothing to do with holding your virtue. But I fully understand your point and appreciated your comment.
    Jonathan durand owens…what a piece of work you are. Someone has done you a grreat diservice.
    Rahiel, and luv my sistahs….great comments.

  • SW

    This is true, but as a black woman I feel we as a race do more harm to ourselves than to others. Most of the time, it is other black women that comment on your skin tone. I am a light skinned black woman and I for one, get tired of hearing, “the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice”. Now that wearing our hair natural is such a big thing we berate other black woman that don’t do this or chose to flat iron their hair. When will we learn to lift each other up instead of tearing each other down? Maybe when we can stop projecting our own prejudices on each other the stereotypes will go away.

    • Jumms


  • beth

    Oddly enough my partner and i were talking about this the other day (my guy is black before anyone says I’m racist)
    We’re self employed and it’s always the sistas who are late, alays on their phone and just cant do the job without blaming someone else. Lui (chinese) has worked here for 5 years and has never phoned in sick. But yet with black women there’s ALWAYS I MEAN ALWAYS A PROBLEM AND SOMEONE ELSE’S FAULT. one sista accused me of being racist, not evening knowing about my partner. makes you laugh. i just wonder that if Michael Jackson’s doctor was white would the hood riot. meantime what are they doing to fix their problems other than cursing the few who gets of their butt? them and their fake hair lol

    • Dominica

      I’m not even going to get into a back in forth on how racist those comments really are,but I will offer some advice. How about instead of complaining and blame someones race on how untimely, excuse oriented, and problematic your African American employee’s are; you actually do your job and hire individuals that have a history of qualifications that are fitting for the position needed! You are the boss and no matter what your employee’s do its your company that looks bad and will undoubted-able fall on you as the owner. Also, lets not blame all black women for your incompetence and stupidity. Just because your with a man that happens to be of Africa decent doesn’t mean that the comments you made aren’t stereotypical, prejudice, offensive to me and all other black women who go though life having to hear BS such as this; who has to work hard for respect and higher positions in the work place because these stereotypes exist.

      I am deeply sorry for you and your partner, that instead of taking responsibility for your misdoing’s you would rather degraded, and categorize black women as a whole.

      • L2cakes

        Thank you, after saying she wasn’t racist…Posted one of the most racist comments I’ve read. Everything she stated was racist & stereotyped. I feel sorry that she doesn’t even know shes racist. It seems like she hates black women for whatever reason & that’s so sad, because you can actually feel it coming from her comment. BUT, that’s what a racist does…hate. So,anyway..keep being strong & loving yourself. Trust God and go with your heart & don’t hate back. We’ve come so far, no matter what others think of us, so proud of us.

        • rachel lovelace

          That was such a lovely and classy way to handle such a hate filled angry rant.

    • Sina Wilson

      I don’t think there is a need to disclose my race because most importantly I am not IGNORANT and I feel so sorry for you that you actually thought it was okay to post ANYTHING like this on here. You probably don’t even realize that your comment regarding the Asian female was remotely racist?

      I am speechless but I do know that your partner needs to sit down with you and maybe help you to understand what “sistas” or “brothers” need in the community that you don’t belong to.

      It’s very easy to judge I see I am just in shock at your comments and I hope you can have an honest conversation with someone who will give you some insight about the matters you discussed here.

    • YungPanda

      Beth your comment really annoys me. Everything about your comment is dumb and ridiculous and just shows how ignorant you truly are. The only thing I did enjoy about your comment is how you used the fact that you are in a relationship with a black man as a way to prove you are not racist. The fact that he is in a relationship with you despite of your ridiculous feelings about black women honestly scares me. You and him both need to take a deeper look inside yourselves.

    • Lisa

      What about lazy white women and their fake hair? LOL

  • Kimmie

    These stereotypes have died a lot sooner.

    • Kimmie

      I mean these stereotypes should have died a lot sooner

  • Cracker

    Shut up n—–. No one cares.

    • JawaGYRL

      Thank you for sharing. LOL Sorry your candidate lost. ROTFLMAO

    • Graciaguana

      F— off you racist.

  • smartman9000

    Black women complain too much. I’ve seen them harass black men dating white women or women of other races but usually more against white women. Blaming white women is racist as well as ridiculous. Most black men I know ask women out. And some of these black men only want white women. If that is the case then let it be. Black women if you want a black man…well..you have to wait your turn. Stop attacking everyone. Take responsibility for your own mistakes and dont blame other women for taking “your” men. Those men make their own decisions. Grow up.

    • tera2006

      I do have a few issues on what you have posted. First you say that black women complain to much, but call us racist, you’re being a little bit of a hypocrite don’t you think? I never had an issue with white women dating black men because I date white men. My problem is with these black men who have sworn off black women. You say wait our turn, wait our turn for what? I’m sorry, but most black men are not worth waitng for. I date all races and I expect to be treated like a queen because I treat my man like a king. I actually think that you are the one that needs to grow up, with your closed minded point of view.

    • Lisa

      Wait my turn for what? Some ignorant disrespectful black man. If he does not respect black women, he doesn’t have any respect for his mothers or his sisters. His mother is black. If he has any sisters, they are black to.
      If a man will disrespect his own mother, guess what? He will not have any respect for you. When it comes to dating a black man, white women want to feel like they are so special. Please. If a man is treating you like a princess, but is disrespectful to everyone else, look out, your turn to get walked on is coming. Sooner or later, he is going to get tired of trying to impress you, and he will start treating you like he treats everyone else.

    • Lisa

      Black men like white women because they will put up with their bull shit. We (Black women) will not sit around and let you do us any kind of a way. White women just lay down, open up their legs, and they will let you do them any kind of a way. White women are nothing but nasty hoes. That’s why the black men prefer them. They are nasty to.

      • Grazey

        Wow now whose racist? And yet black women have the highest rate of children out of wedlock so clearly, they are “opening their legs” and being “hoes”, Statisticly speaking. Black women just can’t accept the facts so its better to put down other races to justify why black men don’t date date black women.


    love the article, very interesting

  • scotty

    Wow. As a mid-40s white guy all I can say is, I have NEVER heard a stereotype of black women being anything BUT promiscuous; having sex at a MUCH earlier age; and, love anal sex.

    Weird how one views themselves vs others. I’ve traveled to Latin America and the Middle East and there are NO POSITIVE stereotypes of black American women. NONE. The stereotypes are that you are loud, obnoxious, masculine, angry, sleep-with-anyone (and cheaply too if prostituting), hyper-sensitive, bitches that no one (not even American black men) can stand.

    If you think I’m kidding, cruise around the web and international sites. YOU ARE THE LAST WOMEN ANY MAN ON THE PLANET WANTS.

    • Lisa

      Scotty, please. You are the last man on earth that anyone else wants. If you had a girlfriend or a significant other, you would not be on this web site telling lies and trashing people. You are obviously bored. An idle mind is the devil’s work shop. I am a 36 year old African American female and I am still a virgin. So what are you talking about? I do not even believe in sex outside of marriage. I would not touch your diseased infested penises with a ten foot pole. Neither will anyone else, black, white, purple, or blue.
      That is why you are on this website talking trash. You are miserable. And you are trash.

    • df


      Critical thinking is too much for you right now, I know. It would threaten your position of superiority and we wouldn’t want that would we!

  • Gibby

    Black women are God’s beautiful creatures just like everything else on this Earth. But when it comes to biologically, it is the whites that are quite literally the trash of the Earth. A race based on thievery, laziness, lies, and deceit is destined to fail. It is only a matter of time anyway before the the white race is completely wiped off this Earth. Whites are the sole reason for all the corruption and destruction in America today. Like I said complete and utter trash. That is why the white race has been cursed with pedophilia, inbreeding, and homosexuality. Read the Holy Bible because regardless of all that we are united in our differences. And to other black women: Who cares what a “40 year old white man” and other uneducated and ignorant black men feel about us? It’s pathetic! Love and know yourself and your family who cares about the rest. It just really does NOT matter. Do what makes you happy :) Peace and love

    • Scotty

      Actually, black men have a higher proportion of pedophilia, are several times more likely to be rapist, and several more times likely to be homosexual (which is their right). In other words, yes, there are more whites in the country (thus more on welfare), but the black man standing next to you in the elevator is: More likely to be gay, a rapist, a child rapist, a murderer, a car thief, and to have AIDS. Period.

      The black woman standing next to you is more likely to be: On welfare, have an STD (google it), have AIDS (also), have multiple children while not married, and ya..be loud, obnoxious and unattractive.

      If racist blacks like you think you are so great, why does your history in the world show you to be subservient to every other race/culture? The Brits brought in INDIANS to run their mines in Africa, and you are JOKE throughout the world. Africa is a shithole that can only be compared to shithole cities you live in. You also have the lowest IQ, by any standard ever studied, no matter how they run the test (yet is reliably shows Ashkenazi and Asians as having high IQs). You’re stupid, face it. Watch black kids try to figure out a complicated toy amongst peers of other races, you can tell the difference in gradeschool. That’s why they should keep you all away from other races. That and the fact that 12 year old black boys like to rape white and Hispanic girls, in gangs of course (like fighting).

      Btw, I’m a so-called “white” Hispanic (as the new term goes, according to the media), and I can tell you..no Latinos like you either. That’s why our people have pushed you out of LA, via force (and other major US cities). It’s our Country, not yours–you can leave or continue to dwindle in numbers, as you already are. Keep abortion clinics open, the liberals have that right. You’re a curse on the planet. Everyone knows that, including immigrants from all over the world that move here and have to deal with you. Even Arabs shit on you.

      • phina

        You know Scotty, people like you never cease to amaze me. Do you realize that you have just described YOURSELF here. Want to talk about stupid? Go back and read what you wrote, and look at all of the grammatical mistakes that you made. Want to talk about unattractiveness? I have travelled to MANY foreign countries ( most of them European and Middle Eastern), and as a black woman–guess what? I’ve gotten over 30 marriage proposals.;Most were from Caucasian and Oriental males. Seems as though you don’t know much about anything. If I were you, I’d shut up to keep from looking like such a dumb ass!

        • scotty

          Sure you have. Your feelings are hurt, because someone had the temerity (look it up) to respond to a bigoted black woman. Middle Eastern men cannot stand black women, do you know what the word for black people is in Arabic? Just guess.

          Black people love to talk about how everyone loves them and hates whites or Latinos, etc. No one can STAND you. When I travel, 90 percent of the “ugly American” stories, are about black Americans (the last one was about a group of entitlement, obnoxious Hampton U. students in Spain at a hotel outside of Madrid)…Of course they demanded their waitress speak to them in English (how typical of American blacks). As if we have to somehow adjust to them. Typical ignorance.

          • Lisa

            How interesting. Typical of Black Americans demanding someone to “Speak to them in English. ” Well, as I can recall, when I study my American History, when black people were brought over here to North America on ships, we were forced to learn to speak English. We were stripped of our native languages. Everything was taken away from us. Our languages and the African tribes that we came from. The white man wanted us to convert to the American way.
            The white man’s attempt has always been to colonize those that are not like him. So what makes you or any other ethnic group that chooses to come over here to North America any different. Any one that chooses to come to America should learn to speak English. White people feel the same way. When we were forced to come to the shores of North America on ships, we did not have a choice but to learn the “White man’s language/English.” Scotty, please stop trying to put black people down. If you want to know why black people act so high class and intelligent, and why we want people to speak to us in English, talk to the white man about it. Ask him why he is so hell bent on colonizing people that are not like him. Stop blaming the victim, and hold the perpetrator accountable for his actions. By the way, I think you love black women. That’s why you keep talking about us and thinking about us. Black women ugly? Really? If you feel that way, then stop looking at us. You keep looking at us and talking about us. So you must like what you see.

      • Lisa

        You have a lot of nerve Scotty. Most Mexicans can not even speak English. I am black and I use to live in LA. Mexican women sit up on welfare and breed like a bunch of dam cockroaches. You think that white people are your friends but they are not. You are nothing more to them than their modern day slaves. They do not need us (black people) any more to scrub their floors, wash their toilets, be mammies to their children, or cook and clean for them. They have you guys now. You Mexicans are not doing anything any different than my grandmother and great-grandmother use to do. But you think you are so different and so much better. What a joke. At least we had enough courage to stand up for ourselves and fight for our rights. That is why we don’t just have a history of slavery. We also have a history of Black Power and we have the Civil Rights Movement. Go back to school and reeducate yourself.
        As far as black people being criminals, it just appears that black men are committing all of the crimes because that is what you see on the news. That is all the white controlled media wants you to see. There are more white pedophiles and rapist than black ones. They just don’t make the headline news. All kinds of bad things go on in the lily white suburbs. You just don’t hear about it. According to FBI reports, most rapes go unreported. Also, according to FBI reports white men rape just as much if not more than black men do. White men just don’t get convicted. Black men get convicted more. 9 times out of ten, you are dealing with an all white jury during the trail of a black man in court. Therefore, a black man is not going to stand a snow balls chance in hell of a fair trial in court. Because white society still sees our men as vicious violent animals. Scotty, you are nothing but an ignorant man that needs to seriously be reeducated

      • Paige

        I cannot believe how ignorant some of the comments on here are. There are all types of black women. The media mostly portrays them as angry, ghetto, loud-mouthed, and the like. But to base an entire group of black women on these ignorant stereotypes, is just disgusting. Just because you had an unpleasant experience with a black woman, does not mean they are all the same. I myself am black. I have light brown skin, and I’m tall and slender. I get a lot of dirty stares from other black women, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. I have always had good features. I do not wear weaves/extensions, I am all natural. This seems to trigger a lot of jealousy from my fellow female counterparts.

      • Tashie

        Hold on just a moment there. I am a black woman. I dated a white man, and throughout the entire relationship, it wasn’t so much black men that we had problems with, it was white women. Women are women, no matter what race or color. A lot of people are tolerant of people of other races. That does not mean that they find it acceptable for their race and others to co-mingle. White women are just as bad as black women. They are just more sneaky. Black women are just more “in-your-face.” That’s the way we’ve always been, because we’ve always had to take care of things, and even today we still have to.
        I like men of all races, but even still my roots are with my black brothers. And brothers know it. To a true man, it’s not a thing with race, it’s the importance of finding someone to love and who’ll love them back. Race is not a factor. If it is, then the relationships won’t last.

      • Tashie

        I think that all of us women regardless of color are blessings from God. As a black woman I can’t always say that I’m angry at my black men, but sometimes when I walk through my neighborhood, I am shadowed by disappointment in my black men for the way they’ve become.
        The problem is not that our expectations have changed, but that our male counterparts’ have. What I see is a whole lot of dreamers, and not a lot of doers, and I think that this is what frustrates our black women. We still want our men to be the head of the family, to take care of things. That is supposed to be any man’s job, however, in recent years black men have become scared, and lost confidence within themselves.
        Those values that the people who marched for us tried to instill have been lost over the years, because what’s been shown to us is that everything must be quick instead of learning from the things that have been brought to us. Black men have become more complacent. I’m not taking anything away from them. But, a vast majority no longer strive to evolve. Their complacency becomes their cage, and when our black women get angry we do the same as we’ve always done and try to push our men to go beyond. However, we have are too aggressive for the more timid generations who can’t handle out sometimes overbearing personalities, and instead of seeing it as it is, a lot of black men end up fearing or becoming disgusted by black women.
        Black women just like any woman of any race, feel that desire to be greater, better, safer, and protected. That is all that all women seek. All women are weird together.

    • joe

      die…just die

    • Someone Who Cares

      You are correct in at least one aspect of your argument. Black women are God’s beautiful creatures, just like everyone else on this Earth. Humanity is a beautiful thing. But accusing white people of being “the trash of the earth” is a terrible thing to say, as is claiming that the white race will somehow be stripped off the earth. Eventually, according to science, all races will be gone. Black, Asian, White, it is irrelevant. At some point in the future we will all be the same tannish color. What an interesting day for makeup will that be! Whites are not the reason for corruption and horrible actions in society today. Ignorance, a lack of understanding, and a failure to take responsibility for the individual’s actions without blaming them on generalities, this is what is wrong. Do not blame the whites for the mistakes of a white meth addict. Do not blame the blacks for the acts of a black rapist. I’m not asking us all to be friends. I’m simply asking us to take each other seriously as individuals, not a collective grace. To put it bluntly as I have heard it said, “If a cat craps in my yard, I’m not going to go to the Humane Society and shoot it up. That’s just ball shit crazy.”

  • Lisa

    In response to your comment Scotty about the average black woman standing next to you being on welfare and having an STD. Being loud and unattractive: The average white man standing next to you will be a pedaphile, a rapist, a serial killer, and have genitile herpes and head lice. Just google it.

  • crystal

    Hail to Pitt!!!! Congrats

  • Confidently Love My People

    I’m sorry that y’all fill this way about black women, but the things is I’m 15 years and black and I’ve have seen girl with the same stereotypical traits you put on us. Why is all the hate on us? No, I’m not a women to cater to you, and shut my face and watch you disrespect me. My dad told me not to ever do that and let a man do that to me. I’m not those stereotypes and if you knew me I would direct you to my family or friends who would say the exact opposite.
    I love everyone equal. Shout out to all my black women and men. don’t fall into what media tells you about yourself. You are a loving and passionate people and don’t none of y’all take no mess.
    Sincerely to my LOVELY BLACKS

  • Michael

    As alluded to in the article, it doesn’t help to dispel the idea that all black women are man crazy when almost all of the “black themed” movies and TV shows have this as a significant element of their “stories.” And we, collectively, as black people, support this idea by throwing our support behind such trash. The same thing goes for the “angry black woman” bit, and I’ve seen plenty of cases where black women in the audience were yelling out their approval of the antics of the angry, man-chaser they saw on the screen. My point is that if we want these stereotypes to go away, WE HAVE TO ACT LIKE IT. No amount of complaining about the problem is going to fix it if we don’t fix ourselves, project a very different image, and demand that media which is supposed to tell the “black story” reflect upon us in a better light.

    Now, watch all of the angry responses to the message of “Patient, heal thyself!”

  • Pingback: 8 Stereotypes About Black Women That Need to Die | Black Girls Allowed()

  • http://theeblackcorner.wordpress.com/ Lady Shabazz

    There’s a double standard when it comes to things like this. [Some] black men will clap and champion hate spewed at black women and say we need to get our acts together and be like other women — those other women being white, Latina, Asian, etc.

    The minute an article comes out about black men, they want to run to excuses such as the man is keeping us down and take us way back to slavery and use racism and discrimination to explain why they live mediocre lives.


    Regardless of a person’s race, upbringing, etc., he or she can fall into any stereotype of any racial or gender group.

    I WILL NOT apologize for my college degree (from a PWI at that) nor will I heed to European standards of beauty.

    I WILL NOT accept anything because of some system that makes life difficult for the black man. That SAME system has taken a toll on me, but I continue to fight every day.

    A lot of black women are being conned into changing themselves, lowering their standards, and putting up with BS because [some] black men would like them to believe that they are their only options. Not true! Plenty of non-black men engage me everyday.

    Black women are so faithful to black men, but [some] black men will throw us right under the bus to simply say “hey” to a non-black woman.

    I honestly don’t care about these stereotypes, and I will not police myself to “defy” them.

    Yes, I AM angry sometimes.
    Yes, I have high standards. (as any woman should)
    Yes, I do challenge black men because I want to uplift them.
    Yes, I do have daddy issues because at 11 I lost my father to suicide.

    Etc. Etc….

    I’m tired of explaining myself to no good people, regardless of race.

    Black women, I beg you to love yourself and stop entertaining such foolishness. Do what you want because YOU want to.

    Live life with no limits.

    -A carefree, afrofuturistic black woman

  • Corey

    *I am a Black Man*
    This does not define me, it is simply a category that I have been placed in because of the color of my skin. It tells no more about me than the car that I drive or the type of socks that I wear. I am not defined by my college degree or my management position at work. I am surely not defined by a portion of the population that attempts to stereotype me as weak, uneducated, prone to violence, or simply a baby daddy.
    With this said, as a man who loves women: Black, White, Asian, etc. I think the premise of this article and the comments tell two different stories. We all have a tendency to defend ourselves whenever we are critiqued. The facts are that these things that have been written ARE how many see black women and as much as we want to trow fists in the air, many black women are affected by these stereotypes. You get passed over for promotions, you are passed over for job opportunities, you are kept out of certain circles, and are shunned by successful guys who would be worthy companions. No man wants to go through life in a constant struggle for superiority with his wife. No man wants to wake up everyday to battle because he has to go out into the world and take up arms as well. I have to say that no woman wants to do that either. I love that you are strong, but in a mate within the walls of a relationship, your strengths are barriers. I love that you are proud, but in a relationship your proud nature make you less likely to bend and compromise. I love that you are modest, but in bed it often decreases adventure. I love that you are driven, but in a relationship that often leads to competition. All of these qualities make you perfect to live in the ‘world’, but they hamper relationships. I am married to a very strong black woman and I would not be attracted to her if she were not strong, but she also knows how to be meek, compromising, and dependent.

    Black women, As you read these articles, I implore you not to be dismissive, but to examine yourself, we all must.

  • Ashley

    The truth is ….Everyone in America has been deceived in someway. What no one likes to address is the fact that everyone is capable of having diseases, violent outburst, hard times,broken relationships, and divorces that lead to children being raised in single parent households. Living in a HUGE city I have seen it all ,and no one is in the position to judge the next. Stereotypes have just created anger and division which make people powerless in general.BLACK WOMEN LISTEN UP!!! You have to stop looking to black men for validation of self. They won’t give it to you! In fact, black men date white women for validation themselves . They were made to believe they were worthless and undeserving at some point ( hmmm sounds familiar , STEREOTYPES!!!), black men ran full speed into the arms of the very source that took away their love for self to began with. But why the cruel and harsh judgment of black women? . Before you jump down my throat, I should mention that i am not against interracial relationships. To be honest my family is made up of several different races. I just believe that this deliberate attack on African American women is TIRED! TIRED! TIRED! Black women are people( LETS NOT FORGET THAT). Imperfect humans just like everyone else. If your heart is filled with hate for another race , then CONGRATULATIONS, you are infected with the disgusting incurable disease known to the world as hate. I was raised in a welfare free home , with 2 happily married professional parents,healthy and happy with many friends and the best part is ….. I”m Black and a woman.
    I do not go to a community college ,i am still healthy ,i am engaged to a non black man, and we are both college graduates….and I’m still black…. How is that for a stereotype….

  • Maria

    Stereotypes will all ways be around mainly because people act out those stereotypes and also media shows those stereotypes.

    In the wise words of my grandfather who was black american everyone is racist some just more then others regardless of skin color or so called race.

    One of the biggest sterotypes of black americans is calling yourself african american most aren’t from africa anymore and if you went and lived their for awhile you wouldn’t survive.

    Now on topic I never dated a black woman or black man mainly because the only examples I had for black kids around my age when i was in high school was loud and obnoxious and all ways talking for all most all of them except for one. Now the one exception her fault was that she was overly friendly even in class because she found me cute and adorable and like to pet me on the head. I did ask her out, but she turned me down because she only dated men.
    She ended up getting killed because she was part of the stupidest prank ever after being convinced by some of her other friends.

    As for black men they were rude and it was their obsession over their shoes that really turned me away, also a incident where I scuffed a black guys shoes on accident and he got upset and in my face even after i said sorry plus he tried to grab me. so I dropped him with a single punch then took his shoes put some leaves in them and lit the leaves on fire with a lighter I all ways carried around because a lot of students smoked and some didn’t have lighters so I recived 25 cents everytime I let people use it. I didn’t get in trouble mainly because the black guy was much bigger and he was on the football.

  • Tina

    I think the problem with black women who post these kinds of articles is that they care too much about what others think. People will always want to peg you/us in some way. At the end of the day, I know that I’m my own person and I really don’t care about stereotypes because they generally don’t apply to me. If some people choose to see me through that lens, it’s their perogative…but it won’t stop me from living and enjoying my life. They are really insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

  • JAY

    Just want to point this out another stereotype that there always angry is the bad attitude thing. In my experience black and Hispanic girls are just sassy and assertive this is usually misinterpreted with a bad attitude and a masculinity image. I personally feel most men are just intimated because they don’t seem submissive as other races.

  • JAY

    There is a misrepresentation I would like to point out. It is the sassiness and assertiveness of the black and Hispanic woman people commonly associate it with masculinity and snappy attitudes. Most men shy away from it because they want a more submissive woman. IMO that is a very good trait and as a black guy who has dated interracial, I think it should be praised and more women of all races should have learn from it. My relations ships with black and Hispanic women tended to be more fun and fresh compared to dating the more submissive woman!